The Unique Intersection of Bisexual Men and Neurodiversity: Navigating Mental Health, Identity, and Relationships
Wednesday, September 25, 2024. This is for Liam and TT in Scotland.
In recent years, there's been growing interest in how sexual orientation and neurodiversity intersect, especially for bisexual men.
These men often walk a tricky path, facing discrimination from both heterosexual and LGBTQ+ communities, while also managing the challenges that come with being neurodiverse—whether it’s autism, ADHD, or other neurodevelopmental conditions.
This intersection creates a unique set of experiences that affects their mental health, relationships, and sense of identity.
Understanding these overlaps helps paint a fuller picture of bisexual neurodiverse men’s lives and shows how we can better support them in a world that sometimes struggles to acknowledge both parts of their identity.
Mental Health Challenges: A Double Burden
Research has consistently shown that bisexual men face greater mental health risks than their heterosexual or even gay counterparts.
This is largely due to something called the minority stress model—an idea first developed by Meyer (2003)—which explains how ongoing discrimination and stigma wear down mental health over time.
For bisexual men, this can mean higher rates of anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts, as they navigate a world where they often feel invisible or misunderstood.
When neurodiversity enters the picture, these mental health challenges are often amplified.
Studies like those by Salerno et al. (2020) show that bisexual men experience elevated rates of depression and anxiety. Neurodiverse men—who might already struggle with social interactions—are likely to find the complexities of navigating bisexuality even more difficult.
Simply put, the stress of managing one’s identity in environments that may not fully accept or understand them can lead to significant psychological strain.
The Challenge of Social Interaction and Communication
For neurodiverse men, social interaction can be tricky, especially in situations that require emotional nuance or subtle social cues.
Research by McGuire et al. (2019) highlights how neurodiverse people, particularly those on the autism spectrum, often struggle with understanding and expressing themselves in ways that are socially expected.
For bisexual men, this can mean added difficulty when it comes to disclosing their sexual identity or building intimate relationships.
Neurodiverse bisexual men might also face difficulties in finding spaces where they feel fully accepted. The study by George and Stokes (2018) found that neurodiverse people approach relationships differently from their neurotypical peers.
This can be a beautiful thing, offering new ways to connect and understand each other. However, it also means that societal norms about monogamy or even how to express romantic interest might not always apply or resonate, making relationships more complicated to navigate.
Sexual Identity and Fluidity: Embracing the Grey Areas
One of the most fascinating aspects of bisexuality is its inherent fluidity—something that neurodiverse folks might actually find more intuitive than others.
Dewinter et al. (2017) explored how many autistic adults experience their sexual orientation in less rigid, more fluid terms. For bisexual neurodiverse men, this can mean a more authentic and less binary approach to their sexual identity.
While embracing fluidity can be liberating, societal expectations still push people toward more rigid identities, which can create internal conflict.
Bisexuality is often misunderstood as a phase or as confusion, and these misconceptions can be even more painful for neurodiverse men who are already navigating a world that doesn’t always understand their cognitive differences.
Vrangalova and Savin-Williams (2012) point out that these misunderstandings about bisexuality can lead to deeper struggles with self-acceptance, particularly when people face pressure to conform to clearer labels.
Relationship Dynamics: Navigating Non-Normative Spaces
Relationships for neurodiverse people often look different, and that’s not a bad thing. Schiltz et al. (2020) found that many autistic folks explore alternative relationship structures that suit their unique communication and intimacy styles.
For bisexual men, who already deal with stereotypes about promiscuity or infidelity, this can be both a freeing and complicated space to navigate.
Clear, open communication is vital for neurodiverse bisexual men in relationships. Their neurodevelopmental differences might make it harder to pick up on certain social cues, so having explicit conversations about boundaries and expectations becomes crucial.
What’s important is that these men are finding ways to make relationships work that feel right for them, even if it doesn’t fit into society’s traditional models of monogamy or heteronormativity.
Finding Support and Looking to the Future
One of the most important takeaways from current research is that neurodiverse bisexual men need more tailored support systems.
Duke et al. (2021) emphasizes the importance of creating mental health interventions that consider both neurodiversity and bisexuality, as these folks often feel excluded from both LGBTQ+ and neurodiverse spaces.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be helpful for neurodiverse humans, offering them strategies to manage anxiety and depression. But what’s becoming clearer is that these interventions need to be customized to reflect the challenges of managing a dual identity—being both bisexual and neurodiverse. Group therapy for neurodiverse LGBTQ+ people may also offer a much-needed sense of community and support.
Where Future Research Needs to Go
There is still so much to learn about the intersection of bisexuality and neurodiversity. In my estimation, future research might focus on:
Long-term mental health outcomes: Studying bisexual neurodiverse men over time to see how these identities impact their mental well-being as they age.
Personal narratives: Listening to and collecting stories from bisexual neurodiverse men to better understand their lived experiences. These insights can help break down stereotypes and misconceptions.
Tailored mental health support: Developing mental health services that address the specific needs of bisexual neurodiverse individuals, ensuring that they feel seen and supported.
Exploring fluidity in neurodiverse populations: Investigating how neurodiverse individuals experience sexual fluidity differently, especially in the context of bisexuality.
By focusing on these areas, we can start to build a more inclusive world where bisexual neurodiverse men feel supported, understood, and valued.
Final thoughts
Bisexual neurodiverse men walk a unique path, one filled with both challenges and opportunities.
As research continues to grow, we are beginning to see a fuller picture of their experiences—how they navigate mental health, identity, and relationships in a world that often struggles to understand them.
By creating more tailored mental health interventions and providing safe spaces where both bisexuality and neurodiversity are acknowledged, we can help ensure that these men receive the recognition and support they deserve.
Because a bisexual orientation introduces a level of complexity in conventional “committed” relationships, couples therapists need to get on board as well.
Be Well, Stay Kind, and Godspeed.
REFERENCES
Dewinter, J., De Graaf, H., & Begeer, S. (2017). Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Romantic Relationships in Adolescents and Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 47(9), 2927-2934. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3199-9
Duke, A., Francis, M., & Mitchell, B. (2021). Navigating Intersectional Stress: Experiences of LGBTQ+ Neurodiverse Adults in Support Spaces. Psychology and Sexuality, 12(1), 45-61. https://doi.org/10.1080/19419899.2020.1847571
George, R., & Stokes, M. (2018). Sexual Orientation and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 48(10), 3430-3442. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-018-3609-8
McGuire, J. K., Anderson, C. R., Toomey, R. B., & Russell, S. T. (2019). School Climate for Transgender Youth: A Mixed-Method Investigation of Student Experiences and School Responses. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 48(5), 1055-1070. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-019-01052-8
Meyer, I. H. (2003). Prejudice, Social Stress, and Mental Health in Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Populations: Conceptual Issues and Research Evidence. Psychological Bulletin, 129(5), 674-697. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.129.5.674
Salerno, J. P., Williams, N. D., & Gattamorta, K. A. (2020). LGBTQ Populations: Psychologically Vulnerable Communities in the COVID-19 Pandemic. American Psychologist, 75(7), 985-995. https://doi.org/10.1037/