Autistic grief is not like neurotypical grief…
Friday, February 16, 2024. This is for RB, who knows too well…
Autistic grief is not like neurotypical grief.
It can differ from neurotypical grief in several ways because of the unique sensory, cognitive, and emotional experiences that humans on the autism spectrum may have.
Here are some essential differences:
Sensory Processing: Neurodivergent humans often have differences in sensory processing, impacting how they experience and express grief. Sensory sensitivities may amplify the emotional and physical aspects of grief, making certain sensations overwhelming or unbearable.
Communication Challenges: It’s also true that neurodivergent humans with autism experience ongoing verbal and non-verbal communication challenges. This can make it difficult for them to articulate their feelings of grief or to understand and interpret the emotions of others, leading to a sense of isolation or misunderstanding.
Difficulty with Change: It’s a well-known trait among many neurodiverse humans that they struggle with change and transitions, including those brought about by loss and grief. The disruption to routines and familiar environments can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and depression.
Special Interests and Coping Mechanisms: Autistic humans often have intense interests or hobbies that serve as coping mechanisms in times of stress or sadness. These special interests may play a significant role in how they process and navigate their grief, providing a source of comfort or distraction and real-time nervous system regulation.
Emotional Regulation: Challenges with emotional regulation are typical among neurodivergent humans, which can affect the intensity and duration of their grief reactions. Some may experience heightened emotional responses, while others may have difficulty expressing or recognizing their emotions.
Social Differences: Autistic humans may approach social interactions and relationships differently than neurotypicals. This can impact how they seek support and comfort during times of grief and how they perceive and respond to social cues from others.
Literal Thinking: The neurodivergent are often recognized by their tendency to think and process information more concretely and literally. This can influence how they perceive and understand concepts related to death and loss, which may differ from the more abstract understandings often seen in neurotypicals.
Difficulty with Theory of Mind: Theory of mind refers to understanding that others have thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and perspectives different from one's own. Humana on the Autism spectrum may struggle with theory of mind, which can affect their understanding of other people's grief reactions and make it challenging for them to empathize or offer appropriate support.
Repetitive Behaviors: Some neurodiverse humans may engage in repetitive behaviors or rituals as a way to cope with grief and regulate their emotions. These behaviors can serve as a source of comfort and stability during distress.
Unique Coping Strategies: A neurodivergent in deep grief may develop unique coping strategies to deal with grief, which may not always align with typical grief responses. This could include activities such as stimming (self-stimulatory behaviors), scripting (repeating familiar phrases or scripts), or seeking out solitary activities to process their emotions. There are no “correct” ways to grieve.
Difficulty Accessing Support Services: Due to communication and social challenges, the neurodiverse may face barriers in accessing appropriate support services for grief counseling or therapy.
Caregivers, educators, and mental health professionals must recognize these barriers and provide tailored support and resources.
By recognizing and understanding these differences, we can better support humans with atypical brains and nervous systems through their grieving process and ensure their needs are met with compassion, empathy, and respect.
Be well, stay kind, and Godspeed.
